Boston Massacre vs. Bronx Gridlock and Maine Port Authorities

-- Saturday, March 8
-- Doors at 5 pm, Bout at 6 pm
-- Tickets $14 in advance/$16 at the door
-- Ticket sales have been brisk; we advise ordering online and arriving early to avoid lines and get the best seats

The Massacre warms up by taking on Maine Roller Derby's Port Authorities, in a one-period mini bout. BDD has tangled with the Port Authorities (formerly the Vacationland Vixens) before and so far we've always come out on top, but they get faster, stronger, and tougher every time. Will this be the bout that gives Maine a hard-won victory over their southern sisters?

In the main event, the Massacre takes on the Bronx Gridlock of Gotham Girls Roller Derby in a full two 30-minute period bout. New York's Gotham Girls were the hands down dominators of the Heartland Havoc eastern regional WFTDA tournament in Ohio last August, and BDD has been dying to take them on. The Bronx Gridlock, one of GGRD's four home teams, heard the challenge and vowed to untangle themselves from the traffic long enough to come up here and show us how it's done. The Dames have mad derby love for GGRD. What better way to show our respect than by delivering a thorough ass kicking?

Music by The Beatings, featuring BDD's own amazing EZ Bake Shovin'!

As always, DJ Boo Boo Danger spins the tunes throughout the bout and at the public, on site after party. With Maine, Gotham, and the Massacre's pantsless militia in the house, this promises to be the baddest after party we've ever had.

Boston Intraleague Recap: Wicked Pissahs 103, Cosmonaughties 64

Bout recap from Mr. Hits:

"Gashes are red, bruises are blue, Cosmos play great, but Pissahs pull through. It's Valentine season in Derbyland, and thoughts of love and lust are everywhere. But for two hours this past Saturday, February 9th, warm, fuzzy feelings gave way to cold-blooded competitiveness when the Wicked Pissahs and Cosmonaughties mixed it up in the final regular season bout for the Boston Derby Dames. A record crowd of over 1,600 fans piled in to Shriner's Auditorium, packing the stands and arena floor to capacity in anticipation of derby fireworks. Never a group to disappoint, the teams delivered an adrenaline-fueled, high-octane facemelter that evidenced the long hours of hard work these women invest in their sport. And although the Pissahs ultimately won by a healthy margin, 103-64, the story runs deeper than the score; indeed, the journey of this bout was far more significant than its destination.


Read more at the Boston Derby Dames website.

Team stats

Wicked Pissahs:

Lead jammer in 19 of 37 jams
Highest scoring jammer (single jam): Triple Deck-Her, 11 points in period 3, jam 2; Tootsie Pop, 11 points in period 3, jam 11
Highest scoring jammer (overall): Krushpuppy, 36 points
Most penalties: Harlot Fevah, 14 minors and 1 major
MVP: Evilicious #420

Cosmonaughties:

Lead jammer in 16 of 37 jams
Highest scoring jammer (single jam): Maura Buse, 8 points in period 1, jam 7; Sheryl Crowbar, 8 points in period 3, jam 6
Highest scoring jammer (overall): Claire D. Way, 29 points
Most penalties: Claire D. Way, 10 minors and 3 majors
MVP: Anna Wrecks Ya #101

Derby Artist Whiskey 7 Portrait Fundraiser

Over at Derby News Network I heard about an interesting opportunity to get a custom made derby portrait created for you by Whiskey 7, aka Athena Barbital of Sin City Rollergirls:

"So I broke my leg and ankle in 3 places playing derby and I’m thousands upon thousands of dollars in the hole. It happened RIGHT after the company I was working for closed and I had a lapse in insurance (of course)!

I can’t walk (or work) until April and I need your help!

Donate $100 and I will create a custom portrait of you, your friend, or teammate!

Your portrait can contain any catchphrase, be in your team colors, or include any particular quirks, character traits, or props that capture who you are!

You will need to:

-submit a high res (300dpi) photo of yourself

-and any other ideas that makes you (or your friend) who you are!

Each portrait includes an 8.5″x11″ and a 4″x6″closeup.

You will get a nice little package to download that includes high res files to print, and also formatted for use on the web.

Help a sista out! If you’re interested please drop me a line. Thanks!

Whiskey/Athena
Any donations, of any size are welcome!

Paypal email address is:
double_whiskey7@yahoo.com

Her first custom portrait (above) looks awesome, as do her past posters. Hmmm.... I'm thinking about it.

"The Dames" Premieres at CCTV on February 21st

THE DAMES: THE STORY OF THE BOSTON ROLLER DERBY LEAGUE

Premiere of a short documentary produced by Project Documentary at Cambridge Community Television

Thursday, Feb. 21, 2008 – 9:00pm
Cambridge Community Television
675 Massachusetts Avenue
(entrance on Prospect Street)
Cambridge, MA 02139
ALL AGES, FREE!

Check out the trailer here!

From the CCTV website:

The Dames is a short documentary that profiles the Boston Derby Dames, Boston's first and only women's flat track roller derby league. This documentary introduces viewers to a fast-paced, full-contact sport, where they can watch players like Claire D. Way and Shelby Shattered hip check, booty block and skillfully skate their teams to victory. While the sport attracts fans through its aggression and sex appeal, it also promotes women's empowerment in its most literal form: through physical strength and ownership. The documentary chronicles the birth of the league in interviews with two of its founders, Ivana Clobber and Sarah Doom, as well as the league's growth over the past two years. The film also gets up close and personal with some of the league's stars, like Harlot Fevah, Triple Deck-Her and Maura Buse. Viewers will experience the dedication and passion which drives these funky, outspoken, edgy women to play derby, even with the long hours of practice, serious injuries, and hurdles of trying to balance their day-to-day lives while running a do-it-yourself business.

The filmmakers are Sarah Brett, Ann Cowan, Darcie DeAngelo, Quentin James, Amy Steptoe, and Rebecca Yadegar. The production was facilitated by Shaun Clarke, Amy Mertl, and Jason Ong.

Send a Boston Derby Dame Valentine's

Pussy Venom, Etta Maims, and Krush Puppy made these sweet Valentine's Day cards for all those derby dame fans out there. Send one to your favorite honey.
BDD Valentines pics (Flickr) (pdf)

Wicked Pissahs (103) vs. Cosmonaughties (64)

I dragged my sorry sick self (and sore side) to Saturday's bout and was rewarded with a fabulous show, a record turnout, and some scary drama. The Cosmos played a strong first and second period, but were unable to hold back the Pissahs. An in-depth recap should be available soon at the Boston Derby Dames website. The crowd was unbelievable -- over 1600 fans! The scariest moment occurred towards the end when Evilicious ran into the bleachers and didn't get up. I didn't see it happen but I heard the thud, which happened right in front of us, but below our field of vision. So we couldn't see her at all, but we could very clearly see the looks on everyone's faces as they came running to help, and they scared the crap out of me. The word on the street (the street being the BDD website) is that she's "at home sipping martinis through a straw while recovering from having broken her nose in four places and getting more than 30 stitches in her face. Broken and bruised, but more evil than ever." No doubt she will be back kickin' ass soon.

Click here to see photos I took from the bout.
Click here to check out the BDD Flickr pool.
Click here to see the post-bout photo booth slideshow.

Fantasy Roller Derby!

I received some exciting news this morning from the Roller Derby Stats Geeks Yahoo Group. Check it out:

"Some of you may be interested to know that TXRD has refined their statistics
to the point that "fantasy derby" is possible, at least in a "beta test"
version.

Please see here for the format for the exhibition All Scar Army - Holy
Rollers bout in January:

http://www.txrd.com/20080127-asa-hr-stats.php

Details of the fantasy derby 2008 is available on their message board under
various categories. Rules here:

http://www.txrd.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=90&t=2722
http://www.txrd.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=88&t=2721

The main play has been moved to a separate thread on the board:

http://www.txrd.com/forum/viewforum.php?f=88

I believe that you can view the thread without a member ID nor logging on;
only if you want to post.

If I'm not mistaken, this is the firt time that fantasy roller derby has
ever been attempted."

Willy Callit
Seattle WA

Another roller derby writing contest

Write an essay answering the question: "Why do you think roller derby has made a come back in the US and do you think it is here to stay?"

"Entrant must be a member of MySpace and of a female roller derby league within the United States. A cover sheet MUST include: birth name and home address of entrant; entrant's email address; entrant's MySpace URL; entrant's phone number; name & address of entrant's roller derby league; and entrant's derby name & number. If any information is missing the entrant's essay will be void.

Essay must be fewer than 800 and no more than 1,600 words in length, and must be type written and submitted either as a Word or pdf document via email to sales (at) head-block.com.

One entry per skater, please. Essay must solely be the work of the entrant. Essay must be mailed no later than midnight on March 31, 2008. Decisions of the judges are final. All entries become the property of Head-Block and will not be returned.

Winner and other participants will be notified by May 31, 2008.

The winner will work with a Head-Block designer in creating their custom painted helmet. Head-Block only uses new Pro-Tec helmets and the winner will need to choose their size. Any team or skater logos wanted within the design must be provided ad a high resolution Illustrator or Freehand .eps file. If the winner wishes for Head-Block to create a skater or team logo design they will be billed separately and upfront. The Head-Block logo will be a prominent piece of art within the overall helmet design. Total prize worth over $350.

Q. Who is Head-Block?

A. Owned by a roller girl, Louie Low Ball #00100 of The Charlotte Roller Girls, we know how important it is to look the part of a derby girl! From fishnets to booty shorts your look needs to be your own and why not top it off with a custom painted helmet!"

www.head-block.com

Trouble in Cincinnati

There seems to be some discontent brewing over at the Cincinnati Rollergirls. It seems that all skaters (new and old) were required to pass the WFTDA minimum skills assessment and a written rules test. Those that did not were told that they could no longer skate with the league, even at practices, but that they would have an opportunity to retake the test mid-season. Wow. I gotta say that's pretty harsh. I'm all for everybody having to pass a minimum skills requirement, but how are people supposed to improve if you don't let them practice with the league? I don't get that. It just seems like a good way to piss off a bunch of people. Read about it here.

I think every league has issues like this (we certainly do) where policies are supported by some girls and not by others and because it is roller derby (roller derby = life) it can get very contentious very quickly. I know WFTDA likes to let all the leagues come up with their own policies, but I wonder if some sort of standardization in (at least some of) these policies might help resolve these issues. What do you think?

Roller Derby Writing Contest

Barrelhouse magazine is sponsoring a roller derby writing contest. Poetry, essays, fiction, non-fiction, whatever. Check out the announcement here. Deadline is March 17th. Go write something fabulous!

Cosmonaughties vs. Wicked Pissahs, Saturday February 9th

Cosmonaughties vs. Wicked Pissahs
Saturday, February 9, 2007
Doors at 5 pm, Bout at 6 pm
Shriners Auditorium Wilmington, MA
Tickets $14 in advance, $16 at the door

The first time they met, things ended in an unprecedented tie. Their second match-up was for the Season One trophy. Come see what the Cosmo's space brains have cooked up to defeat the Wicked Pissahs.

BDD favorites Slim Jim and the Madcows provide the countryfried soundtrack to what will surely spell Valentine's Day heartbreak for one of these fierce teams.

Season tickets also available! Pro-rated based on the number of remaining bouts in the season.

Lungs are important

Here are some new things I have learned about myself in the past couple of weeks:

I do not have

• Tuberculosis
• Whooping Cough
• Legionnaire's Disease
• confidence in my healthcare providers
• a healthy immune system
• a chance in hell of being in a bout any time soon
  

I do have

• pneumonia in both lungs
• chronic sinusitis
• possible asthma
• small veins
• a lot of catching up to do

It seems like every time I feel like I am making some real progress in my skating, something happens to set me further back. Grrr!