Thursday, November 26, 2009

Check out all this DC Rollergirl goodness

Photo: Tony Richards (that's my teammate Miso Knotty!)

Tony Richards Photography
November 2009

Hell on Wheels: Roller Derby in Washington
By Gwendolyn Purdom
Washingtonian, December 2009

The District Body Slam: DC Rollergirls
by Kate Michael
The District Dish, November 2009

Hell on Wheels: D.C. Rollergirls Play Hard, Fight Harder
By Veronica Macias
NBC Washington, Nov. 17, 2009

Friday, November 20, 2009

Helmet design contest

From Triple Eight:
Triple Eight is launching a ground breaking global contest today and we're inviting you to participate and help spread the word. We are giving our customers, friends, and anyone with some design chops the opportunity to work up a design that could adorn one of our signature helmets; the Triple Eight Brainsaver Skate Helmet and our Old School Audio Snow Helmet! The winner of the contest, chosen by the Jovoto community (, will receive $1000 cash. Even if you don't win the cash prize, if your helmet design is chosen to be incorporated into our product line, you'll receive 5% of the wholesale price of each helmet sold, with the potential to have your design rocked by athletes from around the world.
You can sign up for the contest through
Please forward this to anyone you know that might be interested. Feel free to post it to your website, social network pages, blog about it, write about it, print and hand it out, etc. We're super excited to get our customers and friends involved in the design of a new product and are looking forward to seeing what the community develops!!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Updates and Links

Wow.  It has been so long since I wrote in here that I'm not really sure where to start.  Here are some highlights:

  • I crashed into a wall and separated my shoulder (Boo!)
  • I was teamed and am now a Cherry Blossom Bombshell!  That means pink pink pink! (Yay!)
  • My shoulder is all better (Yay!)
  • But then I sprained my MCL (Boo!)
  • I went to Eastern Regionals (Go Boston!) and Nationals (Oly crap!)
  • I'm starting to think about doing some coaching (Yay?)
  • I'm thinking about buying a heat press (Umm...)
  • I'm really tired of not skating (Duh)
And, here are a couple more links of roller derby goodness:

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Moves and changes

Big changes in my life mean big changes in my roller derby life.  Mr. Mayhem got a job in Washington DC, so that means we have moved to our national's capitol.  And what is the first thing I did?  You guessed it!  I got in touch with the DC Rollergirls and was at a practice 2 days after arriving.  Yeehaw!  Can I just say how awesome derby is?  I've been in town only a couple of weeks and I already have a bunch of new friends.  The DCRG girls have been super awesomely welcoming and I can't wait to get on a team and start kicking ass!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Just thinking out loud....

I'm not sure about the fashion merits of this Jean Paul Gaultier ensemble but it looks like it would be mighty useful on the track.

Friday, July 3, 2009

East Coast Derby Extravaganza 2009

Last year I tore my PCL just before ECE and wasn't even sure I was going to go. I went anyway, and had a great time watching, but of course I wished I could have skated. This year I wasn't going to let anything stop me. Luckily, I ended up on 3 challenge bouts. Unluckily, all three were scheduled back to back to back. First up: Superheroes vs. Villains. My name is probably more suited to the villains, but I always try to use my Mayhem Mojo for good, so I skated for the superheroes. Sadly, evil won over good, but we gave them a run for their money. Next up was Rice vs. Beans, which was definitely my favorite bout. Everyone on this team was super awesome and I had a great time skating with them. And, of course, Rice kicked ass (see score in photo). Last up was Babes in Skateland vs. Bruisejolais Nouveau. I was a Babe and was super psyched to rock my new baby blue ruffle butt panties for this bout. Babes won. Good times.

Oh, yeah, there were some WFTDA bouts, too. Sadly I was not able to watch the Boston v Carolina game (which happened at the same time as my challenge bouts), but I was there for all of the Boston v Windy City bout which was amazing. Also, there was a girl from Windy City who had a spectacularly sparkly shiny glittery silver helmet, which I covet.

Can't wait for next year!

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Boston Derby Dames at the Boston Pride Parade 2009

The Boston Pride Parade was wicked awesome fun. It's nice having everyone yell and cheer for you. It was also nice when the rugby players in front of us gave us a lift up Beacon Hill (Thank you!).

More photos here.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Keeping all your derby crap clean

Promise of Derby has a nice post on how one keeps all of one's roller derby pads and gear clean and fresh-smelling. Or at least how to minimize the nastiness as much as possible.

Here are some other hopefully helpful links:

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Roller Derby Injury Reporting Form

Awhile ago I created an injury report form for my league, to help us keep track of our injuries, and hopefully help prevent them in the future. It is a form created with Google Docs which can be submitted online (which people seem to find easier to do). I thought I would post a generic version here in case anyone else is interested in using it as a template for their own league.

Generic Roller Derby Injury Report Form:

If you are not familiar with Google forms, you should follow the link above, and then create a copy. Once you have your copy you can edit the form for your own particular needs. If anyone has any questions, I would be happy to help.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Sweet DIY Roller Skates from CRAFT Magazine

I'll never forget being in Chicago years ago, scoping someone rolling by in some awesome platform roller skates, and wondering where she had found such a rare score. Well, we all know the best way to originality and customization is DIY! Enter CRAFT Volume 07, our Shoeware issue. What issue on shoes would be complete without DIY Roller Skates? This how-to is written by none other than the fine folks over at, retailers of roller skates and skateboards since 1975. The step-by-step build was done by Richard Humphreys, who has been a professional skater since 1978 and is the creator of Needless to say, the man has mad skills!

Check out the full article from CRAFT here along with a video podcast demo below.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Boston Derby Dames Bout #4


Bout #1, 5 pm: Boston Massacre vs. Rocky Mountain Rollergirls (Denver, Colorado)

Bout #2, 7 pm: Cosmonaughties vs. Wicked Pissahs

Halftime sets by The Downbeat 5

After party in the Fez Room with DJ John Barera

Doors at 4 pm, Bout #1 at 5 pm, Bout #2 at 7 pm
Shriners Auditorium, Wilmington, MA

No car? Commuter rail, Zipcar, and ride sharing suggestions
Tickets $14 in advance, $16 at the door

VIP tickets $20 online only—Available until midnight on Saturday, May 9. Includes guaranteed seating between turns 1 and 2, merch goodies, and skating waitresses so you'll never have to wait in line for concessions.

Bring a canned good to be donated to the Greater Boston Food Bank and get derby swag including pins, stickers, and signed posters.

Bout #1: At the June 2008 East Coast Extravaganza, the Massacre took on the Rocky Mountain Roller Girls and lost by just 18 points as RMRG pulled away in the final jams. Will home rink advantage turn things in the Massacre's favor this time? Or will Rocky Mountain's high-altitude endurance give them an insurmountable edge? Read a recap of the June 2008 bout.

Bout #2: It's been 11 months since the Cosmos and Pissahs last took the track together in the Season Two championship bout. Both teams have lost top players to the Boston Masscre roster, with the Cosmos missing star jammers Claire D. Way and Maura Buse, and the Pissahs now minus Shellby Shattered and 2008 Wicked Pissah rookie of the year KrushPuppy. But in the meantime, new stars are emerging: keep your eyes on Cosmo co-captain and jammer Mrs. Dash as well as Varga Bomber, co-captain of the Pissahs and making her mark as a fearsome pivot.
Oh, yeah, and I'm skating in this one! Whoohoo!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Hell on Wheels showing in Boston this Friday!

I have one thing to say about this: If you play roller derby, you need to watch this movie.

From the Boston Derby Dames website:
Friday, February 20, 2009
Regent Theater, 7 Medford St., Arlington (map)
Wheelchair and MBTA accessible
Free parking across the street
$8 online, $10 at the door . 8 pm
BDD is proud to sponsor a screening of Hell on Wheels--a documentary of the birth of modern day roller derby in 2001 in Austin, Texas--at the historic Regent Theater in Arlington.

What began with plans of creating a circus-like spectacle on skates has spawned more than 200 skater-run leagues in North America and Europe, as entrepreneurship and serious athleticism have become just as big a part of the roller derby revival as campy pseudonyms and sassy uniforms.

Catch scenes of BDD's recently relocated General Lee Feisty in her days with TXRD's Rhinestone Cowgirls. Read more about the movie at the Hell on Wheels site.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Derby season is here!!! Boston Massacre vs. Maine Roller Derby Port Authorities

Feb 09 bout

Boston Massacre vs. Maine Roller Derby Port Authorities (Portland)
Doors at 5 pm, Bout at 6 pm
Shriners Auditorium, Wilmington, MA
Tickets $14 in advance, $16 at the door
SEASON TICKETS now available! 9 nights, 17 bouts for $117 — just $6. 88 per bout!

Season Three kicks off with a single-header bout between the Boston
Massacre travel team and our northern nemesisters, the ever-ready
Maine Roller Derby Port Authorities. The Port Authorities wrapped up an
undefeated season in October 2008 after scoring victories against Long
Island, Connecticut, Montreal, and Providence Roller Derby.

Countryfried metal at halftime by Slim Jim & The Madcows.
After party in the Fez Room with DJ Sir Trix-a-Lot, until midnight.

Bigger isn't always better

Roller Derby Diva has a useful post about skate boot size. I think a lot of skaters (myself included) make the mistake of buying too big because our shoe-shopping experiences have told us that, when in doubt, it's better to have the shoes fit a little big than a little small. When it comes to skates, the opposite is true.
It shouldn’t fit like a normal shoe. It should fit more like a sock, a really expensive leather sock. Maybe this is common knowledge to other skaters who might be reading this, but it sure wasn’t to me.
--Lauren Bishop (Roller Derby Diva)
And then you've gone and bought an expensive pair of skates and by the time you realize they're not fitting right, you can't afford to buy another pair. Blah. This is where I am right now. Really wanting a new pair of boot. And I still haven't found a beer koozie to cut up....

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Derby Haiku

LOOK! up in the sky
Megan skates the tightrope, YO!
foes fall 2 their doom
--from Derby Haiku

Just found out about Derby Haiku via Roller Derby Diva. I love all the myriad ways that people find to express their derby love. In the words of the author:


  • pop culture poems
  • roller derby finds its voice:
  • haiku 4 tuff girlz


  • short & 2 the point
  • snippets slam, bam, thank u, ma’am
  • poet’s power jam
Check it out here

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Rank and File: How roller derby teams get ranked

Many people seem confused about how roller derby teams get ranked. I would count myself in that group. Part of the problem (for me at least) is that roller derby is really the first time I have ever followed a sport closely enough to care about rankings or how they are determined. Derby News Network has a quick explanation of the systems that currently exist, and adds their own system to the list:

1) WFTDA rankings. These are determined on a quarterly basis by a vote of WFTDA member leagues, one vote per league. Starting with the 2008 fourth-quarter rankings, each league votes only to rank teams within its own region -- WFTDA no longer ranks teams quarterly on a national basis. Leagues that have not met minimum participation requirements to support the organization's operational upkeep lose eligibility for ranking in the WFTDA system.

2) Flat Track Stats. These are calculated continuously, based on a carefully crafted algorithm which is routinely tweaked as shortcomings in the system manifest themselves. Flat Track Stats is driven purely by math, removing the possibility of judgment bias but increasing the difficulty of determining which bouts are most indicative of a team's actual skill.

3) DNN Power Rankings. These will be determined by the consensus of Derby News Network principals Gnosis, Justice Feelgood Marshall, and Hurt Reynolds. And by consensus, we mean each of us cooks up our own take on the rankings, then we compare them, marvel at the parts where our conclusions were identical, accuse each other of possible mental disorders where we differ, and eventually find common ground. Through it all, our guiding principle is simply this: If two given teams meet today, which one do we think is more likely to win?

Read more here

Friday, February 13, 2009

Fishnet Burnns: A Guide to Effective Blocking

I just found this excellent article on how to block from Fishnet Burns:

"In roller derby, the jammers may be the 'stars' of the show, but we all know where the real excitement is: Big. Fat. Hits.

It's what birthed our very sport, it's what the fans came to see, it's the blocker's bread and butter and it puts the quake in a jammer's knees on the start line.

So how do you hit really hard? Particularly if you're small? With the help of some other skaters, I've broken down the key elements of effective blocking for you.

Find your center

First and foremost, you've got to get balanced, and balance comes from two things: proper skating stance and core strength.

A proper skating stance is one that's low and wide. You knees should be deeply flexed, your ass should be down, not up in the air, and your torso should not be hunched over your thighs. You should always be centered in relation to your skates. You'll notice that if you ever get the majority of your body weight in front of your toes, behind your heels, or past your outside wheels on either skate, you become unstable. So first, make sure your stance is solid, and that you're comfortable staying centered, even when you are putting more weight on one skate than the other.

The second element of balance, and the one that tends to get overlooked is core strength. What is your core? Simply put, it's the very center of your body and the power source behind any thing you do that transfers momentum. Your body core is made up of the muscles in your abs, hips, glutes and lower back.

Consider a baseball player throwing a ball, a golfer swinging a club, or a soccer playing kicking a long pass. The power for these actions doesn't come from the arms or legs alone, or even primarily. The power comes from the core. Twisting the torso, driving the hips and contracting the abdominals all provide the necessary force.

The same is true for blocking in roller derby. You don't hit someone with your shoulder, you hit them with your whole body, contracting and expanding your core like spring to put the 'pop' in a J-block. The power to veer into a check doesn't just come from your legs, it comes from driving your hip toward your target.

You can build up your core by working your abs, your lumbar region, your glutes and your hip flexors and abductors. There's plenty of info on the net about how to do this but a sampling of effective exercises would include crunches and side crunches, leg lifts, back hyperextensions, seated rows, kickbacks, side lunges and wide-legged squats. A personal trainer would be a huge help in targeting these areas, but with some preparation and discipline you can also do it effectively on your own. is an awesome resource to find exercises that target specific muscle groups and the options run the gamut from body weight and free weight exercises to machine exercises.

Don't sweat the technique

Make sure you know your basic blocking form. Familiarize yourself with the J-block (rising into a block from a squat when using the shoulder), the correct form for a hip check (more on that later), and how to properly execute a can opener. Have an advanced teammate or coach watch you and critique your form so you're not wasting energy practicing the wrong moves.

Be light on your feet

Footwork is probably more important to effective blocking than size. No matter how big you are, if you skate like a bus low on steering fluid, you probably won't hit anyone because they'll have all day to get out of your path.

Blocking power can come from speed instead of mass, so use your skating skills to your advantage. You have probably done drills where you cut from one side of the track to the other, or where you veer through cones placed in a wide zig-zag pattern. That's the move you need to use, that quick cut from one side of the track to the other.

Make sure you lead with the foot that's on the same side you are blocking toward. Turn that toe and knee out toward your target and focus the weight on that foot into the outside of your heel. You should be able to lift your front wheels clear off the floor once you get comfortable with it. At the same time, dig in with your other foot and carve a half circle toward the side you are blocking on, like when you skate with all eight on the floor. The weight in that skate should be focused on the inside edge and you should push through the heel, almost pivoting on the front wheels.

Really drive your hips into it like you're skiing and remember that the deeper you scissor your legs from front to back and from side to side, the faster you can cut. Lead into it with your hip and really commit to the block.

Again, make sure you are skating in a proper stance. This makes you hard to knock down, and when you're hitting someone, most of the time it's the lower, more stable skater who will stay on their feet.

Good footwork is not just important in performing a block, but in strategically lining one up as well. If you can intersect a skater much faster than she can anticipate, you will have the upper hand. Work on moving around the track quickly, by veering, hopping, crossing over and running through corners to build the type of explosive agility that will catch opponents by surprise.

Block smarter, then harder

Use the corners to your advantage. When you block with a quick cut from the inside of a corner to the outside, where centripetal force is on your side, you don't need a ton of power to knock down a larger skater, and a smaller skater is often easily floored.

Watch for the way the pack often stretches out into a near line around corners, particularly with newer leagues/skaters, exposing an irresistible hole to a jammer taking the outside. Meet her in the middle of this gap and give her your regards.

If you're smaller, don't forget you can work with your teammates on whipping and pushing you into blocks for more power. This is especially effective if you have a 1-2 blocker combo where you have a larger, power hitter, and a smaller, agile blocker. The power blocker can take on the big girls and focus on forceouts, and the agile blocker can move quickly for surprise hits or to get in front of a jammer for a positional block, lining her up for a takeout by the power hitter. The bigger skater knows to whip and throw the smaller skater into the jammer, and the smaller skater knows to use the bigger skater as a screen and line up hits for her.

Less can be more

I love putting girls on the floor as much as the next derby player, but don't forget that as a blocker, your job is not always to knock opponents down, nor is it always the best use of your energy. If you can distract an opposing blocker or draw her out of position with a quick jab of your hip or shoulder so your jammer can sneak by, then save your steam for when you really need to make somebody polish the sport court.

Use 6.2.10 to your advantage

Make the opposing skater, particularly the jammer, cut the track by blocking her to the inside, especially on the corners where she can easily re-enter illegally before she can stop herself. I've also seen lots of blockers hit a jammer out of bounds and then slow almost to a stop, making her wait to re-enter or get the penalty. Although personally, I think it's a rule loophole that will likely be fixed in a future revision, you will usually get away with it.

Be sneaky

The hardest hit is the one you don't see coming. So hit girls on the side they aren't looking on. A great place to do this is on the corners when blockers look over their left shoulders for the jammers. As soon as you see the back of an opposing blocker's helmet, knock her into the infield.

Be unpredictable

Don't telegraph your block by looking at the girl you want to hit, tensing your body, and lining her up. She will see it coming a mile away and you'll whiff the block big time. Use your peripheral vision and work on your timing, so you can move at the last second and still connect.

Be ruthless

Use your strongest weapons against their weakest points. In roller derby that usually means a hip check to the mid thigh. You'd be surprised at how many skaters you can take out with a hard block, low in the legal zone, when you could shoulder check them all day and just bounce off.

A great way to use a hip check is actually to aim for the inside of the opposing skater's thigh, on her outside leg. So you actually cut in front of her body and hit on the inside of her leg instead of hitting her in her side. Time it right and it will usually take a skater right out.

Take that, rewind it back

If you want to take your blocking to the next level, do yourself a favor and learn to block backward. Not only in the sense of blocking to the front of the body, but in the sense of making a quick and very sharp veer that carries you at a 90 degree angle toward another skater. Master this move so that you are just this side of actually skating clockwise to block and savor the surprise of your enemies.

Charge the front line

I can't stress enough how important blocking to the front of the body is. I don't even try to check girls shoulder to shoulder anymore because it's a waste of my energy. Instead, I focus on using my shoulders to hit girls in the chest, or if you get low and swoop upward, in the solar plexus, which is even better. For hip checks, hit them in the front of the thighs, crotch, or stomach, which will really mess up their skating stance and force them out of balance. The can opener (using your shoulder to strike backward against the front of an opposing skater's body) is an absolutely indispensable move that every skater should master.

Bring the pain

Lastly, don't be afraid to hurt somebody. Legally, of course.

Far too many new skaters under-commit to blocks, pulling back at the last second. If you've never practiced checking a blocking pad, try it. It helps let go of the anxiety of injuring someone and lets you feel the full power of your efforts and determine where you need more follow through. Borrow a little wisdom from martial arts and imagine your target on the other side of the skater or blocking pad you are hitting. Don't strike at your target, strike all the way through it for maximum power.

Excluding scrimmage and drills where you are told to block at low power, don't be scared to open up your entire can of whoop ass and serve it cold with a straw. It's a great compliment to another skater to clean her clock, and to borrow a bit more from martial arts, kendo practitioners talk about the zen involved in receiving a really hard hit, because for one second, their mind is completely clear. Make 'em say 'om'.

Portions of this article were originally posted in a thread on the Skatelog forums. Special thanks to the participants of that thread, some of whose ideas have been incorporated here."

Medical Mayhem

I am fairly sure someone out there has got it in for me. I have been out of commission for awhile with severe bronchitis and something called hyper-reactive airway syndrome, whatever that means. I spent 2 days in the hospital and am currently working from home because doing things like going outside in the cold distresses my lungs. At what point did I become an old person? I am hoping to be well enough to skate a bit on Monday. Wish me luck.

Monday, January 5, 2009

How to fix skates that are loose in the heels

It seems the occupation for all roller derby girls is a constant search to make your skates fit right and work well. I feel your pain. Of late I am thinking about my heels, which don't fit very well in my skate and are always coming up off the footbed when I skate. This seems like a bad thing. A couple of solutions I have found (but not yet tried):

Powerslide ankle stabilizers:
(available from several places including Connie's Skate Place)

The DIY beer-solves-all-problems solution:
originally posted on the SkateLog Forum.

Perhaps a combination of the two?

Anybody else out there found other solutions?