Advice to roller derby rejects

One of the things I love about roller derby is the fact that it is such a new sport that no one really expects new recruits to know anything about it. You can get on a team without even knowing how to skate. So what differentiates those who are chosen and those who are not? I can only speculate, of course, but here are some reasons why I think I was chosen over others:

1. Commitment -- Leagues are looking for individuals who are willing to put in the time and effort necessary to be on a roller derby team. By showing up to every skate clinic before tryouts, I showed that I was serious about roller derby.
   
2. Toughness -- Roller derby is a rough sport and skaters like to think of themselves as being tough. You're not going to last long in roller derby if you're scared of hurting yourself, or if a little bruise keeps you from practicing. Getting up quickly from a fall during tryouts reflects well on you. I am still half convinced that I would not have been chosen if I had not broken my arm at the first skate clinic. Showing up to the clinics with my arm in a sling not only showed that I was willing to tough it out, but got people to notice me and remember me. Not that I would recommend breaking your arm cause it totally sucked.
3. Participation -- roller derby is not just about skating. Roller derby is also about advertising, promotion, fundraising, merchandising, website design, statistics, sponsorships, and a billion other things. Being able to skate well is important, but leagues also want individuals who are going to contribute to other aspects of the league in a meaningful way. If you're able to convey your interest and willingness to do these things, you will be a much more attractive recruit.
   
4. Personality -- Roller derby is also a social club and a hothouse of personalities. No one wants a bitch on their league. Be nice. Be friendly.
   

So what do you do when you have tried your best and still not been accepted on a league? Are your dreams over? No -- there are a lot of things you can do while you wait for the next tryouts to come around:

1. Keep skating. Skate every chance you get. Go to roller rinks. Skate on basketball courts. Go online and research the basic skills and practice them.
   
2. Exercise. I have never been so exhausted in my life as I have been during roller derby practices. I mean I think I'm going to pass out or vomit exhausted. General strength and endurance will help you out tremendously.
3. Become a referee. Most leagues are happy to get more ref help. Refs often get to come to practices. You'll get to practice your skating skills, get to know other refs and skaters on the league, and you'll know your rules better than most of the skaters. This will also allow the skaters to get to know you as a person. If they like what they see, you'll have a leg up on the competition at the next tryouts.
   
4. Get involved. There are twelve thousand things that need doing in a roller derby league and there are never enough bodies to do them. Sign up to volunteer at bouts. If the league is disorganized and doesn't get back to you about volunteering, think of something specific you could do and offer to do it. Offer to record stats, do data entry, take photos, write articles for their newsletter, design a shirt, whatever. If you really want to make friends, offer to find sponsors for them. This will definitely help you stand out from the crowd during the next tryouts.
   
5. Join another league. Many leagues are just starting out or have low numbers for one reason or another and don't have tryouts. They will basically take any skater that consistently shows up to their practices. I know a couple of girls who did not make the cut at the Boston Derby Dames tryouts who are now skating with Providence, which is relatively nearby.
   

And if you're not willing to do any of those things, then you might want to rethink the whole roller derby thing. It might not be for you.

Knee Pain Help

So I've been having a lot of knee pain for the past few weeks, especially in my left knee. Doesn't hurt if I'm just sitting or standing but anything where I bend the knee (like going up stairs) was quite painful. The pain was mostly below the kneecap and only on the front of my leg. I thought I was just building up muscles there or something and didn't think I could do anything about it. But then last week I went to get a massage with my favorite masseuse and he said that my quad muscles were just super tight and they were pulling my knee muscles up and making them hurt. And the solution is as simple as stretching out those quad muscles more. Of course, I have been stretching my quad muscles during warm-ups, but apparently not enough, because once I started concentrating on those quad muscles, the pain totally went away. Yay!

Boston Massacre vs. Virginia's Dominion Derby Girls

Saturday's bout was awesome. It was my first bout as a member of the league (instead of just an audience member). I spent the several hours before the bout helping out with all sorts of stuff -- taping up signs, setting up merch, moving giant stacks of vitamin water from one end of the auditorium to the other, etc. etc. I spent the first third of the bout at the merch table, which was a lot of fun, although I didn't get to watch the bout much from there. And I also discovered that standing around in skates really makes your feet sore. It was worth it, though. I loved skating from one end of the merch table to the other. And then during the intermission between the second and third periods a bunch of non-Massacre skaters were just skating around the track, so I joined them. Yay for me. My first time on the track during a bout! Maybe next time I will be in the bout.

And then I was able to watch the second and third periods of the bout. I thought that the score (119-69) didn't accurately reflect Virginia's performance, which was pretty good. I mean, obviously we rocked, but they put up a good fight and it was a fun bout to watch. My favorite moments were when Ivana Clobber got to jam and when Shelby Shattered jammed. I think it was the first time jamming during a bout for both skaters, and they were amazing. Clobber was so excited to jam I thought she was going to explode. And then at the end of the jam she skated right into a giant group hug from her teammates. So nice.

The other highlight of the bout for me was Pinchette, the Massacre mascot, played for the first time by my friend Amy Mertl. She was a huge hit (especially with the guys, I suspect). Running up and down the bleachers, getting high-fives with her claws, getting everyone to wave their arms back and forth. She even took requests -- when a guy from the audience yelled for her to "do the robot," she did. And that ain't easy in a giant lobster outfit! I wish I had gotten a video of that! And all of that with a costume that was literally being held together with safety pins, duct tape, and staples! She's so awesome!

Image: Pinchette McMasshole and Vicious. More bout photos (heavy on the lobstah) here.

Roller Boogie fundraiser

Friday night was our Roller Boogie fundraiser at the Coolidge Corner Theatre. It was awesome! We watched Roller Boogie, which was fabulously lame (although the skating was actually pretty good) and sold a plethora of cupcakes (above). Below: Bully Mia poses with a fan (a fan of what, I'm not sure).

Sunday Scrimmage with freshmeat!

Sunday's scrimmage was the first scrimmage that many of the Freshmeat qualified to bout in. So exciting! Saturday is the Boston Massacre's first bout of the season, so they matched up the Boston Massacre against a team of Freshmeat, non-Massacre vets, and a few Providence rollergirls. Needless to say, it was not exactly an evenly matched bout, but it sure was exciting! I can't wait to get in there! And check out the totally awesome poster designed by freshie Dreadnought (and maybe her fiancee, too -- I'm not sure). You will note that all the Freshmeat got their own body part and I am the brain. It is so totally sweet that I will forgive her for misspelling my name (Kamehemayhem). This definitely needs to become a T-shirt. More photos from Sunday's scrimmage can be found here.

Wilmington Advocate article about Boston Derby Dames

The Wilmington Advocate just published a sweet piece on the Boston Derby Dames. They even mention me, although they misspelled my name! I think I will start to keep a list of all the misspellings that are sure to accrue. This time: Queen Kamahamayhem. The website also has a nice little video with Nora'easter, Ruby Khan, and Bloodbath Betty talking a bit about their experiences. Wilmington is the town where we have our bouts, so hopefully it will garner us a few extra audience members who might not otherwise know about us. Check it out here.

Image: Sunday's scrimmage (which the Wilmington Advocate reporter attended). Newly scrimmage-qualified freshmeat Vicious Vivacious Vera (on the right) jams for the first time!

Derby Name advice for Newbies

Aside from actually trying out for roller derby, nothing is more nerve-wracking than trying to figure out your derby name. Here is some good advice all potential rollergirls should take to heart.

Via Derbytude:

So, you’re trying out for Derby and you already have a name in mind. Names are a huge part of roller derby. We pride ourselves on them, and what they mean to us. Especially since we know that no one else will have the same one. Well, here’s a few rules of Derby Name Etiquette that you may or may not know.

First off, if you are about to try out for Roller Derby, then you do not have a Derby Name. Period. To clarify: do not walk into try outs and introduce yourself with your derby name. Do Not have it plastered all over your clothing, skate bag, pads, etc. Do Not go out and buy custom clothing and items with your name all over it. This will come off as cocky, since you haven’t even found out if you’ve made it past try outs. Go ahead and chat with other girls and let them know what you’d like as a name, but do not introduce yourself as anything other than what is on your birth certificate. A Derby Name is something that you earn, as is the status of “(…. Your League) Roller Girl”. Don’t be one of those people. Now, there are exceptions to this. People that have already been accepted to the league, but that have not tried out to be a Roller Girl (ie: skater that was injured before being drafted, but that made it through tryouts the year before, referees, stats crew, etc.), may use their “Derby Name” that they used during the season, as long as their league is ok with this. We had a few in our league that already had names when they came through try outs. Most likely, your league will have you on a probation period after you’ve made it past try outs. When that period is over (in our case: 90 days), and they know that you’ve made your commitment to the league, they will register your requested name.

Second, make sure that no one else has already picked your name. If someone, anywhere in the country, has the same name, then most likely, your request for that name will be denied. To find out if anyone has the name you want, visit www.twoevils.org and go to the Derby Roster section. There, you can put your name into the search, and it will cross reference it with anything that sounds even remotely close to the name you want. It will even rate names from Very High (most likely to be rejected) to Very Low. It’s a great resource when choosing your name. Now, if you have a name that is very close to someone else’s, you can always try to contact that player and get written permission from them to use your name. They won’t always grant permission, but it doesn’t hurt to try. Also, this list is updated monthly, so keep checking back to make sure that your name is still available.

Third, Don’t freak out if you can’t figure something out. We’ve had girls that went through 4 different names before they found one that wasn’t taken already and rejected. We’ve also had girls change their names from season to season. Talk to other people in your league, get some ideas of names. Peruse the list of names, and see if they spark any creativity. Many people use characters or celebrities and just change parts of their names (Hurt Reynolds, Jodie Faster, June Carter Crash ) or they use places or things and change out words or add names that sound similar (Aimee T. VilHorror, Aja Consent, Slugs ‘n Kisses).

Fourth, Don’t get bent out of shape if your name is already taken. A derby name is a very organic thing and can just manifest itself when you least expect it. In my case, my derby wife - before she was the wife - started calling me by a name. And since she was the loudest, she won. ;) Up until that point, I was giving myself an ulcer because I couldn’t figure out what my name should be. Some people were spitting out lists and lists of 100’s of names, while I was struggling to get just 1. I thought I’d never figure something out. Then, without any effort of my own, I had one. It took a little while to grow into it, but now it’s who I am.

Having a derby name is a fun part of derby. Especially when you see it on things like shirts, uniforms, hoodies, helmets, and rosters. Be patient with it and just relax. And if next season, you’re still not quite feeling it, change it up!